Nauupos na Kandila

"There will only be one of you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself."

Strong quote for what I consider a small problem. But very helpful indeed.

Ever since I joined my present company, I have always struggled dealing with people from my same department. Back in Pinas, we thankfully didn't work a lot together but those few times, I am always left drained and on the verge of quitting. My move in Singapore brought me nearer to them literally and since we're in proximity, there is an expectation we'll work closely together and more often. The very thought already demotivated me even before coming here, it was in fact one my reasons for initially resisting the idea when boss discussed possible relocation.

And up to now I am really desperately trying to like them but they are just plain unloveable. I am usually very warm to people and over the years, I have mastered the art of congeniality. But they are really testing my patience. You see, they are very arrogant yet untalented, very loud yet not substantive, intimidating yet unbrilliant and very abrasive despite being shallow. They are your know-it-alls without really knowing it all -- which is is darn annoying, right? And the worse part is, people bear with them since this company frowns on confrontation.

I am really really trying to get along. I think I'm succeeding as they seem to think I agree with them. But I don't care so much about how they feel me about me. I care about how I feel everytime my confidence and hope shoots down to zero. The past two days were spent meeting with them on how to improve the current state of our department within the region and I am again disappointed. There is no worse feeling than that of helplessness.

This is a continuing saga and I think this is a first of my many blog entries on this topic. But one thing is for sure I will watch out for. I will never be like one of them. Never. Ever.