Leaving Manila on a one way ticket was tougher than I thought. I was depressed. No, I was devastated.
D-day happened June 3 and a deep suffocation just enveloped me. My brain is telling me I’m just 3 hours away – not that inaccesible unlike my other sister who's in the US. But really, Singapore is too far if I suddenly feel like having lunch in QC or sponsoring a family bowling tournament. This move to Singapore is supposed to be one of my most exciting life moves but my heart will achingly miss my family and being with them physically. I need to not just talk to them but to be with them. I’ll miss Mom’s “cooking” and my Dad’s monologues. I’ll miss Kai as she grows up. I’ll miss BA as she struggles with her odd job. I’m sure I’ll be seeing them soon but I miss them anyway. It really sucks missing people you love.
The past two weeks before D-Day were spent eating out and playing bowling. On those occasions, it was like having a giant mousse around the room but everyone pretending it wasn’t there. We were all denying to ourselves the sad fact that Husby and I won’t be joining these gatherings for a couple of years or so. We had our last lunch together before I left in our desperate attempt to fool ourselves everything’s normal. Mommy was tearing up and I just had to leave right away. It broke my heart.
I will be okay soon I know. But I just need to let this off my chest now so I can move on and begin my new life here.
Song on my mind : Auld Lang Syne from SATC Soundtrack
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1 comment:
Goodbyes are always hard.
Not quite sure if your soundtrack is appropriate. Family will always be family. There will be no "forgetting."
Just don't commit the same mistake that I did... not keeping in touch enough. Call as often as you can. Or email. Don't be a stranger.
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